Harry Potter and the Great Steaming Pile of Arse

Alright, I admit it, a big part of the reason I have such a negative attitude towards the whole JK Rowling phenomenon is that so many people are telling me to love it.

Yes yes, all I'm doing is knee-jerking against something that has achieved popularity in the mainstream without having bothered to look into it myself. I'm a bit of a dick, we all knew that already.

But the big reason I'm backlashing so severely* is because of the sophistic argument I've been given to like this series of books.

Quite simply, I've been instructed to like the Harry Potter books because they're not kids books. People are falling over themselves to tell me that adults can enjoy them - hell, in recognition of this, the publishers released 'mature' covers of for the books, without the cartoony graphics, so that adults could read them in public without shame.

Of course, there's one problem - *Not being kids books. *Adults can enjoy them. These aren't actually even remotely the same thing.

Adults can enjoy things done for kids - Find me a person who doesn't like the Narnia books, or the movies Labyrinth or the Dark Crystal. These were designed and made for an audience of kids, but through sheer stylishness, can be enjoyed by pretty much any age group. Hell, I watch Hey Arnold whenever I'm home early enough.

But you know, they're for kids. I don't care how many adult covers you put on the books, I don't care how many adults go to the movie - It is made for CHILDREN.

Does this make it bad? Not necessarily - People who’s opinions I would otherwise trust have told me it is very good.

However, it is a CHILD’S movie based on series of CHILDRENS’ books, and anyone who says other wise just mustn't have seen the cartoon covers that they were originally issued with, or that the first few never got past the young adult section before the series had built up it's current popularity by about the third book.

There is nothing wrong with liking something designed for kids - I regularly read comics in public places, and proudly admit that the two tv shows vying for position of my favourite of all time are the Tranformers and My Little Pony cartoons from the eighties. But these are things designed for children. I enjoy them. As a matter of fact, I enjoy them a great deal, but that doesn't alter the fact that they were designed and made for kids.

Enjoying something made for kids isn't wrong, but don't get all self important about it. Things needn't be highbrow in order to be entertaining (just the reverse, often), so don't pretend something is just to validate it.

So yes, I'm sure I would enjoy the movie if I ever saw it (it looks very pretty from the ads, you can't do too much wrong with Alan Rickman and Robbie Coltraine), and hell, I'd probably even enjoy the books were I to read them. But I'd enjoy them for the same reason I enjoy reading Dr Suess and watching The Powerpuff Girls - Because they're good CHILDRENS' entertainment, and I'm not about to try and convince anyone any different, because I don't think I'm special for being emotionally underdeveloped.

It's a crap reason for boycotting something, but it's the one I have, so fuck you and your "It-must-be-adult-cos-it's-good" sophistry...

*This rant is being written on a night when I have gone to the movies with a group of friends - specifically, we met up, hung around for a while, they went to see Harry Potter, I went to see some godawful period piece starring Antonio Banderas and Angelina Jolie, then we met up again afterwards...